***QUESTION FROM A READER (of relationship articles by Susie and Otto Collins):
"Hi Susie / Otto, Please could you advise me on the issue
of partners meeting friends of the opposite sex one to one.
My rather Asian and conservative belief is that husbands
should never go out for a movie/late dinner with a female
friend. The reason for my belief is that regular one to one
contact with a female friend could (potentially) lead to
(at worst case) an affair. And that men (and women) should avoid putting themselves in that situation, ie temptation.
My boyfriend sees where I am coming from but disagrees
and thinks that it stems from me just point blankly not
trusting him, given that he has never done anything to
not be trusted. He is insulted that I am unable to trust
him to resist temptation even if it did come along.
Not only does he think differently on this, he is a very
reserved person - and therefore, in any situation, he
genuinely finds 3-somes very difficult and pointless : one
can have a better quality catch up when it's one on one
To be fair to him, because of his reservedness, he meets
these individual friends 3-4 times a year(each) - which in
the grand scheme things isn't a lot.
I would very much like to get the stage where I am laissez
faire with whoever he sees ..... how can I ?? And what is a
fair compromise given that neither does he want me to
intrude in his time with his female friends?
Thank you in advance for your help.
I find your articles very helpful by the way."
Source: email from Susie and Otto Collins (Relationship Coaches) mailing list