RIP

visited on 3may2026. 1011 hpk informed nck

 

Goodbye

 30nov2025 87 djj

Moving On

 RIP 90yo 0810 Fri 23aug2024 JJ p grandpa 

RIP

 

20 January 2024 1224 🙏82+

Goodbye RIP

 82 years old

YOLO

 

Goodbye. 😭

Goodbye Dina

Dina

21 December 1997 - 24 July 2014

16+ Years Old

Beloved Companion.

You will always be in our thoughts.

************************************************
Last days

Dina drinking soup as she needed more fluid.

The vet gave us the above for us to administer Subcutaneous Fluids (SQ) to her as she needed it but as the days went by, she became weaker and weaker. We were told that her kidneys were failing. The only humane course of action is to say goodbye and put her to sleep to end her sufferings and it was done at the vet this afternoon. She outlived her twin brother by 2+ years.

Final resting place in our front garden with these beautiful flowers.

Stones to mark her grave

Goodbye

Today early in the morning, we received news from my cousin that his father (67) was going to leave this earth anytime soon and at 11.20am it was confirmed that my maternal aunt's husband had passed away in the hospital. We then conveyed our most heartfelt condolences to my aunt's family for their loss and let them know that our thoughts are with them although we can't be there to pay our last respect to our late uncle.

Again, this reminded me that life is indeed short and therefore we must treasure and use each moment as if it is our last. The last few months have been a very trying time for my aunt and cousin but it all happened so quickly. I do not know the details but I will list down here whatever I know in memory of my late uncle's brave journey.

      Oct 2013 - Felt a bit dizzy in USA and so returned to Taiwan.
30 Nov 2013 - Did blood test. Result: cancer markers are high. Did not have any appetite.
02 Dec 2013 - Did endoscopy and colonoscopy. Nothing major found just minor lesions in stomach.
09 Dec 2013 - Did CT scan.
13 Dec 2013 - Result of CT scan: Suspected Pancreatic Cancer. Set appointment with oncologist Dec 19.
14 Dec 2013 - Aunt and cousin returned from USA.
17 Dec 2013 - Couldn't write smoothly and had trouble speaking so was sent to the hospital.
18 Dec 2013 - Confirmed mild stroke.
19 Dec 2013 - Appointment with oncologist cancelled in order to treat mild stroke first.

02 Jan 2014 - Did biopsy.
08 Jan 2014 - Confirmed 4th stage Pancreatic Cancer. Cousin persuaded his dad to go for chemotherapy.

Between these two dates (8 to 17 Jan), uncle fell down from his hospital bed at night despite having a personal nurse (hired by aunt) and after that the personal nurse felt so bad that she resigned immediately. Doctors diagnosed another mild stroke. Uncle couldn't feel one side of his body. Did physiotherapy to regain using his whole body and when it seemed ok, started chemotherapy low dosage first.

17 Jan 2014 - Chemotherapy 2nd time. Cousin sent us youtube video of uncle doing physiotherapy to walk.
29 Jan 2014 - Things were looking good. Uncle went home and walked regularly to exercise in the park.

06 Feb 2014 - Chemotherapy 3rd time. I believe the dosage was upped this time. During the night, uncle was in tremendous pain (should be the side effects of the chemo) but managed to sleep. The next morning, cousin found uncle unconscious. Admitted to ICU, was another mild stroke, a feeding tube was inserted into the nostril (Nasogastric intubation) and he couldn't speak due to the mild stroke.

21 Feb 2014 - Uncle woke up this day and pulled out the feeding tube. It must have been very uncomfortable.

24 Feb 2014 - And today we got the sad news. Uncle is in a better place now. May he rest in peace.

Farewell

Around the last few weeks of the year 1999, you wandered into our garden and adopted us as your family. You were a lovely kitten then and over the years you grew into a gentle cat and secured a place in our hearts. After leaving us on 11 Sep this year, we miss you very much but we know that you are in a better place now. May you rest in peace.

再見

Ivan

21 December 1997 - 19 February 2012

14+ Years Old

Beloved Companion.
You will be missed dearly.

Till death do us part?

One day, while surfing the net, I came across the following question:

"If you were given a choice, would you prefer to die

a) before your spouse,
b) after your spouse or
c) at the same time as your spouse"

At that time, my answer was a) I would prefer to die before my spouse. This is because I do not want to bear the pain of living without him. But now I've changed my mind. I've decided to choose b). I would prefer to die after my spouse because I would like to be there to see him off on his final journey.

As for c), I don't think I have what it takes to choose to die together as some couples devoted to each other had done or plan to do. The following news articles about these couples bring tears to my eyes.

Healthy Vancouver woman wants to die beside her ailing husband
..
Betty Coumbias, an elderly Vancouver resident, has indicated she wants to die alongside her husband, George, who suffers from severe heart disease.
..
Mr. Coumbias declined comment on the topic, saying by e-mail that he and his wife are refusing interviews.

But a 2007 documentary on Dignitas by John Zaritsky, an Oscar-winning Canadian filmmaker, followed the couple, both 71 at the time, in their initial attempts to arrange a joint assisted suicide.

Mrs. Coumbias explains in the documentary, The Suicide Tourist, why she would take her own life despite being generally healthy.

"From the day we got married, [my husband] was all my life," she tells Mr. Minelli. "I love my two daughters, but I love him more, and I don't think I can face life without him, and since we read about Dignitas, we felt what would be better than to die together, you know, to die in each other's arms?"
..
- Tom Blackwell, National Post
Monday, April 13, 2009

Conductor Sir Edward Downes and wife end lives..
..
The couple's family said that they decided to end their lives together after struggling with serious health problems.

Lady Downes, 74, is understood to have been suffering with cancer while Sir Edward, 85, had become virtually blind and suffered loss of hearing.
..
-Telegraph.co.uk
Published: 8:13AM BST 14 Jul 2009

Pair die together..
..
Peter and Penelope Duff, from Bath, ended their lives at the Dignitas clinic in Zurich last Friday.

Their daughter Helena Conibear said her father, who was 80, and her mother, who was 70, had "passed away peacefully together" at the centre.
..
- BBC News
Published: 22:31 GMT, Thursday, 5 March 2009

UK couple die ..
A British couple suffering from chronic illnesses have died at a Swiss clinic, following an apparent suicide pact.
..
Mr Stokes, 59, suffered from epilepsy and his 53-year-old wife from diabetes and back problems, but neither was thought to have been terminally ill.
..
- BBC News
Published: Tuesday, 15 April, 2003, 17:33 GMT

I would often ask myself, when the end is near, will I then change my mind again and make the same decision as they did? Again, only time will tell.

My ideal age to die

In my previous post, I mentioned that it is my hope to die peacefully and free from pain between the age of 61 and 65. Currently, I am trying to live my life to the fullest. By the time I reach 61, if everything goes well, I would be very satisfied with how I have lived my life so I would be ready to say goodbye to this world then.

I would not want to burden anyone to have to look after me when I grow really old so that is why I have chosen the age bracket of 61-65 as my ideal age to die. Who knows, I may die much earlier than 61. I may even die tomorrow. It is not up to me to decide when I will die as I am not considering suicide. I can only hope.

Happy 38th Birthday to me!

Today I celebrate my 38th birthday by creating this blog to record my journey through life from this moment onwards.

The question that I am asking myself everyday now is how many more years do I have before I die. If I knew the answer, it would be easier for me to plan my future.

Would I die between the age of:

a. 38-40+

b. 41-45+

c. 46-50+

d. 51-55+

e. 56-60+

f. 61-65+ (my ideal age to die)

g. 66-70+

h. 71-75+

i. 76-80+

j. 81-85+

k. 86-90+

I sure hope that I do not die after 90 years old because I would be so old by then that I would not know what to do with myself. My ideal age to die is between 61 to 65 years old.

My father had diabetes and died at the age of 57+ after never recovering from having his feet amputated due to gangrene. His mother died when he was just 7 years old so I do not know how old she was at that time. His father died at the age of 67+ 72+ (congestive cardiac failure). 3 out of 6 of my father's siblings are no longer alive today. They all died between the age of 55 between 65 (approximate).

This year my mother is 66+ years old whereas her mother is 92+ years old. My maternal grandfather died a few years after recovering fully from a stroke. I do not know how old he was at that time but I will check and update it here. Update: 73+ All 8 siblings of my mother, ranging from 53 to 71 years old are all well and alive today.

So looking at the above information, can I hope to die peacefully and free from pain between 61 and 65 years old?